


Carpe diem

by louquorice



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: -Ish, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Canon-Typical Violence, Canonical Character Death, F/M, idk how to write violence actually, its slightly tojomatsu if you squint, tagged as ship but can easily be read as platonic lol, virtual reality au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-08
Updated: 2018-08-15
Packaged: 2019-06-24 01:17:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 8,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15619242
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/louquorice/pseuds/louquorice
Summary: {Spoilers for V3 Chapter 1 and beyond}“The First Blood Perk is ripe for the claim! Any takers?”“I did it.”Almost everyone audibly gasped as the blonde pianist stepped forward. Even Monokuma seemed taken aback. It didn’t take long for the room to erupt in chaos.AU where Kaede didn't remain silent when Monokuma waved around the First Blood Perk.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I was... supposed to draw this into a comic but I realized how taxing it would be coz it's quite long lol
> 
> so this is the messy result (also it's unbeta'd hihi)
> 
> ugh idk why i keep making AUs ;w;  
> I already have an HPA non-despair AU and a (different) VR AU with the v3 kids  
> which are in comic form btw, you can find them in my [tumblr](http://louquorice.tumblr.com/)

“The First Blood Perk is ripe for the claim! Any takers?”

 

“I did it.”

 

Almost everyone audibly gasped as the blonde pianist stepped forward. Even Monokuma seemed taken aback. It didn’t take long for the room to erupt in chaos.

 

Kaede stood rooted on her spot, her eyes shut and her hands balled into fists by her sides. All around her, Kaede can hear every minute comment and accusation and she cursed her enhanced hearing for that. Momota and Iruma were shouting profanities. Chabashira and Kiibo talked too fast for her to make out anything coherent from their nervous babbling. Gokuhara was crying while he mumbled his disbelief of her actions in between sniffles. Yonaga was cackling for some reason, praised her on her proactive behavior all the while cursing her for having committed a heinous crime. Shinguji was rambling about the irony of the situation and something about the beauty of humanity.

 

When Kaede felt brave enough to open her eyes, her heart broke at the faces of her peers gazing back at her. Saihara looked like he was about to cry. Harukawa maintained an indifferent expression, but it felt like she was glaring at her. Tojo’s usual collected facade was replaced with anguish, her posture slightly slumped. Yumeno would not make eye contact with her. Shirogane seemed too shocked to say anything. Even Ouma was uncharacteristically silent, he merely looked at her with a blank expression.

 

Kaede took a deep breath, steeled her nerves and mustered up all the courage she had left. “I’m sorry, everyone!” Momota took it upon himself to calm the rest of them down so the pianist can clearly address everybody. After a while, the library fell into an uneasy silence that made Kaede feel claustrophobic but she managed to will herself to go on. “I—this was wrong of me. I took advantage of Saihara-kun’s plan to catch the Mastermind into a death trap…” She went over how she arranged the library as such.

 

She shot Saihara an apologetic look. “I’m very sorry for betraying your trust Saihara-kun. I… just wanted to end this killing game…”

 

“By killing someone.” Harukawa said in a deadpan expression. Kaede winced at her words.

 

“I’m really sorry! I… didn’t realize how far gone I was. I wish I never had to resort to this…” She tried to speak evenly, but she knew her resolve was starting to waver.

 

“Please know that my intent was always for good,” she shuddered at her own stupid, empty words. “I genuinely wanted to end the killing game! My methods were just— Amami-kun didn’t have to…” She faintly heard Hoshi murmur ‘what’s done is done.’ She stopped her nonsensical rambling and bit her lip. She doesn’t really know how to go on. A part of her wanted the trial to go on so they might uncover a clue about the mastermind and in the end, she’d be rightly executed. But then, she remembered what spurred her to confess in the first place.

 

The pianist directed her gaze toward the monochrome bear, attempting a brave face. “That’s why I took the first blood perk. So I can get out of here and get some help… and I’ll come back to get you all out of here!” Monokuma merely tilted his head.

 

“I don’t expect any of you to forgive me for what I’ve done and I’m sure of you trust me anymore, but.” Kaede said, now facing her peers. “I swear I will get you all out of here! I promise…”

 

Her bold declaration was met with mostly silence and skeptical looks. Kaede chokes back her tears. She expected that but that didn’t mean it didn’t hurt any less. She used to be the unifying force among them after all, encouraging trust and cooperation and yet, she ironically would be the one to destroy it. She tried to ignore the painful ache in her chest and went on with her speech.

 

Kaede focused her gaze on Saihara, willing herself to look at him directly in the eyes. The detective flinches at the attention but nonetheless doesn’t break eye contact with her and she’s grateful for that. “In the meantime, I’m leaving this up to you, Saihara-kun. I’m sorry for letting you carry this burden, but I believe in you! I know you can beat this killing game.” She gave him a small smile. “So please, believe in yourself… okay? I will come back for you all.”

 

In a softer voice, she said “And I’m sorry I almost led you to hammer the final nail into my coffin. But please, never lose sight of the truth. I know it scares you, but don’t be afraid to borrow from the strength of others who will be there to help you. I know you can do this. Protect everyone, and don’t lose to this game.”

 

Saihara doesn’t make any discernible reaction and Kaede looks down at the ground, embarrassed at her own gall to ask so much of someone who she just betrayed. She sighed, “About time I left th—“

 

“I trust you.” Saihara said while placing a hand on her shoulder.

 

Kaede gently took his hand off her shoulder. “You don’t have to trust me.”

 

“But I do. I always thought you were a good person, Akamatsu-san and you are. While it’s true resorting to murder was going too far… you were just trying to save us.” Kaede grimaced as he spoke. _God, the justification of my crime sounds even more stupid hearing it from someone else_.

 

Saihara looked pensive for a moment. He jolted when Momota draped an arm across the his shoulders. “Yeah, it’s fine, Akamatsu! You did it for the good of everyone!” the astronaut chimed in.

 

Harukawa crossed her arms. “Murder is still murder.”

 

“She seems genuinely remorseful ‘bout it though. ‘Sides, killing someone in the name of good…that’s a sentiment I can get behind.” Hoshi said nonchalantly. That still didn’t sit right with the pianist, but she maintained her silence.

 

Chabashira pumped her fists in the air. “Tenko believes Akamatsu-san will make good on her promise!” Soon after, half of the class joined in with words of affirmation. Ouma finally broke his silence and intruded on the moment with his signature laugh.

 

“So are we just going to forget Akamatsu-chan killed someone?” Ouma casually puts his hands behind his head.

 

“Hey, fuck off.” Momota hissed at the smaller boy.

 

Kaede let out a resigned sigh. The pianist never really expected anything less from the supreme leader, who always seemed to push everyone’s buttons. “I never said you should all forget, or forgive me for that matter. I understand the gravity of my actions which is why I’m going to do my best to make it up to you all, somehow.”

 

Ouma chuckled. “That was still pretty dumb of you, Akamatsu-chan, but a ballsy move nonetheless. You’re not boring at all!” If Kaede wasn’t so emotionally drained, she would tease him for somewhat complimenting her.

 

She eyed Monokuma, who only looked at her with a curious expression. “Are you going to make good on your promise? I can get out of her without the trial, right?”

 

The bear placed a paw on his chest. “Oh, are you addressing me now?” The pianist glared at him, making Monokuma giggle. “But of course! Unlike you, bears never lie!”

 

Kaede gritted her teeth. This horrendous crime of hers, her lies, will gnaw on her conscience for as long as she lived, but it’s grating to her being mocked about it by the stupid bear that trapped them here in the first place. She lets this one slide, for now. “Let’s get this over with, then.”

 

“No problem, Akamatsu-san! Follow me! The rest of you can do whatever you please, or you may go with us to see her off… whatever!” Monokuma made his way toward the library entrance. Kaede moves to follow him out, the class silently trailing behind her.

 

Halfway through their procession across the courtyard, she was expecting most of her peers to break off from the group, but here they were, still walking with her. Her eyes were brimming with tears now, but she does everything to restrain them from flowing out.

 

They reach the circular building at the far end of the courtyard in relative silence, it somewhat felt like a death march for Kaede. When they enter the building, Monokuma was seated at the edge of a large circular fountain, an obnoxious statue in his likeness at the middle.

 

“Took you all awhile to get here!” the bear feints a dramatic pose.

 

“You little shit, we were right behind you!” Iruma cursed, but deflated when Monokuma shouts back at her. Momota voiced out his disgust and a few from the class also joined in. It didn’t take long for everything to be in chaos again.

 

Kaede tuned out the noise, not really having the energy to assert herself. She stood at a corner furthest from the class, fiddling with the hem of her vest when Saihara approached her. Unexpectedly, he took his hat off and held it towards her. The detective was quite cute without his hat on and amusingly enough, the only thing out of place was the stray lock of hair swaying freely on top his head (a weird characteristic that she also had).

 

Still flustered by the gesture, the blonde slightly shook her head. “S-Saihara-kun, I couldn’t possibly take your hat.”

 

“I want to give it to you for safekeeping.” Saihara said. “That’s the symbol of my end of the bargain.”

 

Kaede tilts her head in confusion. “Wh-What? What bargain?”

 

“We made a promise, remember? You’ll get help from outside and come back for us, while I beat the killing game from here…” Saihara replied. “I’ve told you what the hat used to symbolize, but now it carries a new meaning.”

 

The detective gingerly places the hat on the pianist’s head. “By taking my hat off, I will no longer avoid revealing the truth… and I will do my best to protect everyone. That’s my promise… our promise,” Saihara taps the hat. “and I want you to hold on to it for strength… as a reminder why you’re fighting.”

 

Kaede can no longer contain the grief that she has been aching to hold back since earlier, and she almost drowns from her overflowing tears. “I—I’m…m’sorry…Sa-Saih…h-hara-kun.” Her hands covered her face in an effort to stifle her sobs. Saihara unconsciously wrapped his arms around her, one hand rubbing circles on her back to calm her down.

 

As soon as the last of her tears trailed down her cheeks, she hugged him back, resting her head on his shoulder. “Thank you, Saihara-kun. That’s… our promise.” Unbeknownst to them, the class was observing the whole scene play out, having stopped their foolish debacle long before.

 

After some time, Kaede thought it was odd that the room was too quiet and she supposed that everyone else took the argument outside. She lifted her head from Saihara’s shoulder to survey her surroundings and immediately blanches at the sight of her classmates staring back at her and the detective. The blonde abruptly lets go of the boy, who slightly staggers backward. “Oh my God, I’m sorry Sai—“

 

“Pretty sure Saihara-chan is already annoyed by your constant apologizing, Akamatsu-chan.” Ouma chirped. Kaede tugs on the brim of the hat to hide the blush that quickly spread on her face. Saihara just nervously laughs beside her.

 

“Alright already, you love birds just can’t stop loving each other! But sorry, we better get a move on!” Monokuma snapped. “Now then, direct your attention to me!”

 

The monochrome bear explained how to activate the elevator that would lead them to the trial room through a lever on the statue of himself. He demonstrated by activating said lever, and afterwards a dry walkway appeared that led them to a doorway. “Alright kiddies, get in!” he ordered.

 

“Pardon me but why must we venture to the trial room? Akamatsu-san no longer requires a trial, does she not?” Tojo questioned.

 

“Hey, I thought you were gonna make good on your promise huh?!” Momota pointed an accusing finger at the bear, who raises both paws in mock guilt.

 

Gokuhara stepped forward. “Gonta doesn’t like it when bears break promises!”

 

“I’m not!! She’s not getting a trial, I swear! Just take the ride, not all of you have to by the way!” Monokuma said in a rush, then promptly disappeared.

 

“Oy, come back here ya’ coward.” Momota shouted at nothing.

 

Chabashira looked pensive. “Tenko doubts we could trust the evil bear’s words…”

 

Saihara stroked his chin. “I’d agree with you, Chabashira-san but… I don’t think the bear was lying.”

 

The aikido master purses her lips. “Are you saying Tenko is wrong, you menace?”

 

“N-not at all!” The detective raised his hands in defense, and continued. “It’s just, one of his rules during the trial was that everyone must be present. He just told us that not all of us needed to go to the trial room, so it’s safe to say there won’t be any trial right now.” Chabashira huffed, but didn’t say anything more.

 

Momota held a thumbs up toward Saihara and said, “Good enough for me, let’s go then!”

 

One by one, they filed in the spacious elevator. Kaede was the last one to board, feeling apprehensive from her impending fate. _It does seem odd that they had to go to the trial room…_

 

The ride was mostly in relative silence (again), quite strange for a rambunctious group like them but Kaede muses it’s only natural since there was a murder and the killer was in an elevator with them. _Even I, myself, would never live it down._ The elevator comes to a gentle stop after what felt like forever and the steel door opens.

 

They were immediately greeted with darkness, save for a faintly lit part at one side of the room where Monokuma was subsequently standing by. A trail of blacklights were their guide toward that area. Kaede ignores the predetermined task in favor of observing the darkened room. The lights in the so called Trial Room were off, but the light coming from the stained glass panes at the back provided enough illuminationfor Kaede to make out some silhouettes. There seemed to be several podiums forming a circle at the center of the room and outside the arrangement was a high chair, just by the windows. _It’s probably Monokuma’s throne, jeez, so obnoxious…_

 

Saihara tugged at her sleeve, snapping her out of her reverie. She mouthed him a ‘sorry’, although she isn’t sure if he saw it. They made their way toward the lit area, where most of the class already is.

 

“Okay! From here on out, only I could accompany Akamatsu-san! So you better say your final goodbyes now!” Monokuma said, raising a paw pointed at the black door. After their final well wishes, Kaede gestured for a group hug.

 

Monokuma pretended to vomit. “Yuck, you’re all so mushy and sentimental. Time to go Akamatsu-san! You’ve wasted enough time already.” Kaede glared at him but relents, separating herself from her friends.

 

The bear gestured for the pianist to enter the door, and followed suit after she does. He takes one last look at the remaining students, “I’ll just escort our lovely protagonist out and will be right back, okay? Don’t leave the trial room yet, or else” then promptly shuts the door, leaving the bewildered students behind.

 

Kaede was temporarily blinded the moment she entered the door, because unlike the Trial Room, this place was too bright. When her eyesight finally adjusted to the change, she could see that she was in a long, narrow hallway that seemed to go on had it not been for the barely discernible doorway at the far end. The ceiling was basically a series of light panels while the walls and the floor tiles of the corridor were a dull white that Kaede considered very disorienting.

 

Monokuma walked in front of her. “Let’s go Akamatsu-san.” he beckons. The pianist sucked in a breath before treading after the bear. They journey through the hallway in complete silence. It was deafening to say the least. Kaede swore she could almost hear her rapid heartbeat, but she was partly thankful since she didn’t want any small talk with the bear.

 

They were almost at the other end of the corridor when the blonde couldn’t help herself but ask something. “You’re not going to kill me, are you?”

 

Monokuma kept walking but spared her a quick glance. “Now why would I do that?”

 

“I—I killed someone and… took the first blood perk? And I basically said… I’ll get help to bust the rest of them out.” Kaede wasn’t really sure what to answer, but she was truly anxious. She’s sure the bear could very well kill her now if he pleases.

 

The bear laughs. “Good one, Akamatsu-san.” He doesn’t further elaborate on that and now Kaede is certain he will kill her. She could feel herself sweat and her heartbeat was racing a mile a minute. The pianist glances at her back, looking at the door that led back to the trial room. She thinks about running back to her friends but shook off the thought. _They’ll think I’m a coward._ She briefly considers strangling the bear from behind but realizes she couldn’t really put up much of a fight. She opted to just fiddle with a strap of her bag.

 

They reach the end of the hall; a steel doorway with a red caution sign before them. Monokuma pushed some buttons on the panel beside the door, and a loud click was heard followed by the doorway shifting open. Like the Trial Room, the room beyond was also dark and Kaede’s agitation worsened. The bear gestures toward the exit. “After you, Akamatsu-san.”

 

The pianist took a step back. “Huh, why? Yo-You’re really going to kill m—”

 

Monokuma brandished his claws. “Now, my dear, don’t make me change my mind.”

 

Kaede bit her lip and clenched her fists, but does as told. She moves past the bear andfurther into the dark room. She could barely make out anything at all in this place, it’s like she was suspended in a void. From the reflection on the floor, she notices that the light from behind her was starting to fade and turned to see that the door was closing. “Wha—“

 

“You know, Akamatsu-san…” Monokuma said, his red eye was glowing. “You weren’t supposed to take the first blood perk.” Kaede made a mad dash towards the closing door. “But we can roll with it…” the bear shrugged.

 

“Of course, I won’t go back on my word.” Monokuma bellowed out his signature laugh before the door completely shuts close, Kaede pleading and reaching out in vain.

 

The room was entirely blanketed in darkness now, and while Kaede wasn’t too afraid of the dark, she can’t help but consider it a phobia now. She took off Saihara’s hat and held it against her chest, then slumped down on the ground, trying to find solace on the cold hard floor. She was crying again, but this time alone, with no real warmth to hold on to.

 

Suddenly, blacklights light up on the ceiling, illuminating the room in a faint violet hue. Kaede bristles at the sight of the podiums similar to the Trial Room. “Wh—Is he mocking me?”

 

A sharp, jarring sound reverberated across the room and the pianist immediately covered her ears. She recognized the noise as someone adjusting a microphone. A muffled ‘mic test’ intermittently mixed with static followed afterwards. _Is that… Monokuma?_

 

“I think this is okay now…” a tapping sound could be heard. “Hey Akamatsu-san! Miss me already?” Kaede merely groaned, standing up and wearing the hat again.

 

“Anyway, you were supposed to be executed,” Monokuma said matter-of-factly. Kaede understandably paled at his words. The bear laughed menacingly. “That doesn’t mean I don’t get to have any fun.”

 

Kaede attempted to protest when a circular metallic object clasped around her neck from behind. She is immediately pulled upward, the shackle tightened around her throat making her hands instinctively reach into it in an effort to loosen it. “The name of your execution is Der Flohwalzer, a perfect musical end for our lovely protagonist.” Monokuma said.

 

The stage lights from above turn on, basking the whole room with brightness. The pianist was suspended above an oversized piano with a spiked cover. Below her, she is surprised to see her friends looking on. _This… This is a different trial room, right? Why are they—_ Her mounting apprehension only increases tenfold when she is dropped on a black piano key, indicating the start of Flea Waltz. She is taken aback when her classmates cheered.

 

“Do your best, Akamatsu-san! You made a promise.” Saihara encouraged.

 

Kaede noticed the song was slowly increasing in intensity as it goes on, and she’s now missing the correct keys while her friends looked disgusted at her awful piano playing, making her stomach churn. She wanted to scream, but her throat was too strained from the tightening noose. The pianist was starting to get nauseous and breathing was becoming increasingly difficult as her body was yanked around violently.

 

The song was going even faster now, and Kaede can barely register anything around her. The last sensation she felt was hearing her peers booing her. She could hardly take a gulp of air now. The aching sensation around her neck worsened and black spots started to cloud her vision.

 

Saihara’s voice rang in her head. “What happened to our promise, Akamatsu-san?”

 

She gasped one last time before pain and darkness overtake her.

 

—

 

The spiked cover of the piano dropped on Akamatsu’s swaying corpse, Shuichi’s hat flew offscreen and a resounding wet crunch echoed from the speakers of the Trial Room. A wave of gasps swept across the room.

 

“W-What the fuck was that?” Momota demanded angrily. “OY, MONOKUMA WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?”

 

Shuichi couldn’t tear his eyes away from the screen. It felt like a fever dream. _Th—This wasn’t supposed to happen…_ All around him, his classmates were shouting and crying and in utter chaos. He was on his knees, feeling nothing but a hollow numbness. He couldn’t even bring himself to get angry at Monokuma, the bane of their existence and subsequently, the unfair executioner of his dearest friend.

 

The detective felt his head spin, holding a hand over his forehead. Soon after, he further slumped into the ground in a daze. The last thing he remembered before slipping into unconsciousness was Monokuma laughing into the microphone.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kaede woke up with a jolt, her breathing heavy and rapid. The first emotion she felt was confusion. _Why was she breathing… why was she alive… why was she here… where is here, exactly?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was only supposed to be a two-shot but after I finished writing the 2nd chapter, it was too long  
> so I'm cutting this into two parts so it's a three shot now, yeet

Darkness. Silence. Numbness. Nothing.

 

Then a surge of sensations hit her all at once. The numbness began to drain off when she felt blood flowing under her skin. A rush of air suddenly invaded her lungs making her convulse, but there was no sound to be heard from her struggles. It was eerily dark all around her, yet she swore her eyes were open. An unbearable ringing sensation shot through her head; she never really noticed how blank her thoughts were if not for the annoying interruption and now she wanted nothing more than for it to stop. Something tightened around her neck, surprising her. With her regained motor skills, she immediately tried to remove what felt like a hand that was apparently choking her, to no avail. She opened her mouth but no scream came out.

 

Something grabbed a hold of her limbs and she tried to resist, but her hands would not leave their current positions. The grip around her neck tightened, and she desperately clawed on it for supposedly loosening it. Her breathing was becoming erratic and her consciousness was slowly slipping again. Suddenly, a sharp static sound overwhelmed her hearing, only to fade out and replaced by muffled voices all around her. Several hands took hold of her arms, trying to pull them away from something she was tightly squeezing. Finally, light entered her eyes and she could make out several shadows shuffling around her. The ringing in her ears stopped and she could somewhat discern some words seemingly addressed to her. “A—k—mats—sa-n”

 

_Ugh..._

 

“Ak—mat-su—an”

 

_That’s… me, right?_

 

“Aka—matsu-san! St—p!”

 

_Huh?_

 

“Akamatsu-san! Please stop!”

 

_Stop…what?_

 

“You’re suffocating yourself!”

 

The force constricting her throat loosened. Kaede abruptly shifted her body in a sitting position, a wave of dizziness hitting her moments later. She rapidly took in gulps of air that overloaded her breathing process, making her cough violently. She felt a hand support her back, stroking it in circular motions to ease her distress.

 

She still couldn’t see anything clearly, everything looked like hazy abstract shapes, while the screeching noise in her ears returned. Someone was talking to her, at least that’s what she assumed based on the figure’s movements accompanied by the muffled voice. She tried to refocus her senses but her disorientation proved too overwhelming. Her head drooped downward, body bending forward following the motion while her limbs made no effort to break her fall. The last thing that registered to her were the arms that quickly grabbed her limp figure from falling forward, and then nothing but darkness again.

 

—

Kaede woke up with a jolt, her breathing heavy and rapid. The first emotion she felt was confusion. _Why was she breathing… why was she alive… why was she here… where is here, exactly?_

 

She still felt a bit dizzy, but favored observing her new surroundings while she could rather than dozing off again. After all, she didn’t think it was possible for her to be still alive. The room was quite small, but the predominant white motif seemingly made it appear larger. The walls were sparsely decorated, and the only furniture in the room was a lone chair and table. The atmosphere was bleak and boring, even her pale blue hospital gown contributed to it. The only thing remotely colorful in the room were the pink curtains patterned with musical notes. _Huh._

 

Kaede made a move to leave the bed but her action only made her acutely aware of something metallic wrapped around her foot. Removing the blanket, she saw that she was tied to the bed with a handcuff to one of her feet. She groaned and laid down on the bed. She doesn’t really have the energy in freeing herself, or in doing anything for that matter. _Is this what happens after death… become tied to a bed?_

 

She closed her eyes and thought about the last thing she could remember. _Being suspended over a piano… People her age looking back at her… a dark-haired boy smiling… didn’t he have a hat? Oh! He's..._ “Saihara-kun’s hat! I lost it!” Kaede exclaimed, sitting back up. Her memories about them were muddled, some vivid while others hazy or blank but she’s glad she remembered and she would try her hardest to fill in the blanks. _I’m… I was in a killing game but now…_

 

A gentle knock on the door snapped her out of her stupor. “Um, yes? You may come in.” Kaede said. It felt odd for her to act polite for some reason, but she stomped down on the feeling.

 

The door opened and a head peeked through, the familiar green hair and casual grin sent shivers down her spine. All previous thoughts forgotten as her jaw slacked open when recognition hit her. “Am-Amami-kun?” she said, voice louder than intended.

 

“Ah, yes, I suppose that is the name you know me of.” Amami said as he slinked in the room, shutting the door softly behind him. He grabbed the lone chair from under the nearby table and dragged it toward Kaede’s bed. When he was a good distance near her, he turned the chair backwards and promptly sat on it, an arm resting on the backrest while the other palm supported his chin. The whole action played out while Kaede silently observed. Amami’s carefree position on the chair unnerved her, a nagging feeling telling her that she had seen this somewhere before.

 

Amami eyed her quizzically. “I suppose you’re wondering why you’re here?”

 

Kaede crossed her arms, and scoffed. “More like, why the hell I’m still alive.” She clamped her mouth shut upon realizing how abrasive she spoke. “I’m sorry! That wasn’t—“

 

“It’s alright, Akamatsu-san.” Amami waved her off, smile still plastered on his face. “Hmm, I should start by telling you that you didn’t really die.”

 

“I’d want a more thorough explanation than that, please.”

 

“But of course, now make yourself comfortable because this will be a long talk.”

—

 

_So, everything was fake…_

 

The talk with Amami had left Kaede drained. She couldn’t really process any more information thrown to her after that. The rest of the day rolled by rather uneventfully. Some nurses and a doctor came and went occasionally to check up on her. She spent most of her alone time lying in bed, mulling over those left in the “simulation,” as Amami would put it. She found it a strange arrangement, 16 strangers pitted against each other in a simulated environment, something she willingly signed up for. _I would never—_

 

“I’m—per—f-t fo—the k—lling ga—e”

 

Kaede lurched at the sudden pain that streaked through her head, mind going blank momentarily. She clutched her throbbing head, willing herself to refocus her senses. _What was that?_

 

Afterwards, her tiredness just seemed to increase exponentially and all she wanted to do now was get some rest. She closed her eyes, and it didn’t take long for sleep to claim her.

 

—

 

The handcuff on her foot was removed the next day, which she was very thankful for. However, she still wasn’t allowed to leave her room and while there was a rebellious part in her that taunted her to break the rule, she remained obedient. Amami visited her frequently to keep her company. They mostly talked about nonsensical things, since he seemed to be dismissive of any question regarding the ‘killing game’ that wasn’t answerable by information he already provided.

 

“Would you like to watch the live broadcast?” Amami asked one time. Kaede was seriously considering it, but wordlessly shook her head in response.

 

—

 

Three days after she woke up, the doctor cleared her to be physically fit enough to be “discharged” from the medical wing but recommended she sees the resident therapist as soon as she could. Amami escorted her on that day, leading her out the medical wing and into the main building of Team Danganronpa.

 

“Uh, Amami-kun… could I get a change of clothes? I don’t like walking around in a hospital gown with just a tanktop and shorts underneath…” Kaede said as they move through the maze of hallways. She glanced around ever so often, trying to memorize landmarks.

 

Amami chuckled. “Yes, that’s why I’m taking you to your room.”

 

“My room? Am I going to have to stay here longer?” Kaede asked, fidgeting on the sleeve of the hospital gown. She didn’t fancy the idea of being stuck in a cage (again).

 

“We’re legally obligated to make sure all the participants are psychologically-abled enough prior to reintegration to society.” Amami said, “besides, don’t you want to reunite with everyone once they wake up?”

 

Kaede doesn’t respond to that. She does want to reunite with everyone, and maybe become friends with all of them outside the simulation, like what she always wished to happen. Wait, she barely knew these people, why should she even care in the slightest about them? She quickly shook away the negative thought. _And why do I keep feeling that I’m forgetting something…_

 

She grinds to an abrupt halt when she bumps into Amami’s shoulder, making her stagger backwards. “Aw, shit!” Kaede unconsciously muttered, massaging her face which took the brunt of the impact. She apologized for her crass language afterwards.

 

“You should really see the therapist soon, Akamatsu-san. You’ve been spacing out a lot recently.” Amami said, smiling gently. “In any case, this is your room.” He tapped on the door, the nameplate ‘Akamatsu, Kaede’ graced the upper part of the doorway. He handed her a keycard and a simple map of the building.

 

“There are clothes laid out on the bed, choose anything to your liking and if they do not suit your tastes, you may request a different set of clothes with a form. The form can also be used to request any item, except for anything dangerous, illegal or the like, not readily available in the room. A pad of it is found on your bedside table, and the accomplished form should be submitted here,” Amami pointed to a location on the map “any questions or clarifications?”

 

“That’s awfully a lot to go through just to get a different set of clothes…” Kaede deadpanned.

 

“We like to keep everything in order.” Amami said. He does the blonde a favor by swiping the keycard and opening the door, ushering her inside. “Have a good day, Akamatsu-san.” He turned to leave when Kaede called out to him one last time.

 

“Can I… call my parents?” Kaede asked, face pleading.

 

Amami shook his head. “I’m afraid not, Akamatsu-san. And besides, I don’t think they’d like you contacting them…” He said before shutting the door close.

 

“Wait, what? What do you mean?” Kaede rushed out into the hall, only to see Amami’s retreating form a great distance away. She groaned in annoyance returning to her room, not really intending to chase after him now while still in the hospital gown.

 

Her room, unlike the hospital wing and the hallways outside, was a breath of fresh air. The only dull parts were the pale violet walls, grey marble flooring and the white ceiling. The furnitures were black but stylish, accented by the silver rims or handles. The blanket and white pillows looked nice against the black headboard of the twin sized bed. Best of all was the widescreen television propped nicely against one side of the wall. There was even a large rack for her to place whatever she wanted, not that she had any notable possessions with her to begin with.

 

Kaede eyed the selection of clothes on the bed. They were mostly drab and simple, making them easy to pair up, save for a set that was specifically separated from the rest. It consisted of a long sleeved shirt, a couple of musical note hairpins, a pink ribbed hem sweater vest, a dark warm purple skirt adorned with black music staves, dark purple knee socks and a pair of beige shoes. It somewhat also came with an additional accessory as indicated on a note on top of the pile “wear this set with the white bag with a gold clasp.”

 

“This is too oddly specific.” Kaede mused out loud. She found it absurd and yet she felt the set of clothes were tugging at her heartstrings somehow. _Had I worn this before? It seems like it. Should I...?_ From the corner of her eye, she notices a black cap with three white horizontal stripes at the side. She picked it up, caressing it gently as she tried to recall what made the hat familiar. _Boy… wore black clothes… pale skin… gentle face… pretty eyelashes… dark hair with stray lock… black cap… Saitama… no… Sai…Saihara… Shinichi—Saihara Shuichi!_

 

“I remembered! This is his hat!” Kaede happily exclaimed, holding the cap to her chest. Her elated expression soon dropped to a frown. “But… why do I have it?”

 

—

 

Kaede tediously made her way to the cafeteria, examining the map given to her as thoroughly as she could, occasionally asking random people she met along the way to clarify directions. She was idling around her room for hours before realizing it was nighttime and hasn’t eaten yet, then decided to go to the cafeteria for a meal. She was also hoping to catch Amami trying to have dinner there too.

 

Upon arriving, her first impression of the cafeteria was similar to her impression of most places in the building: bleak and boring. She sighed, chastising herself for expecting something different (like her room).

 

The cafeteria was predominantly white and the interior was typically what you’d expect from a common cafeteria. A selection of food on one side of the room, while the rest are filled with table and chair arrangements. Most of the tables were long, good for 4-6 people, making it likely that you’d share a table with someone during a lunch rush.

 

Thankfully, there weren’t that many people in the area right nowand Kaede was happy at the prospect of eating alone (or with Amami) in peace. She quickly scanned the room and deflated when she doesn't spot Amami anywhere. She made her way to the food station, lining up in a queue as she surveyed the available food on the menu. Some of the staff greeted her and she would politely smile at them in return.

 

_“We’re basically celebrities, you know.” Amami had said._

 

Kaede let out a deep sigh, she didn’t really want all this pointless attention. She eventually decided on having steamed rice topped with chicken teriyaki and miso soup. After getting her food, she finds a secluded place in the cafeteria and made herself comfortable. She absentmindedly picked on her food for awhile, her thoughts drifting in and out of coherency, when a slight tap on her shoulder jolted her into attentiveness.

 

“Good evening, Akamatsu-san.” Amami said, his other hand hand holding a tray of food. “May I join you?”

 

“Yes!” Kaede said all too eagerly. “I was hoping to talk to you actually.”

 

Amami hummed in affirmation and took a seat across the blonde. “Is it alright if we eat first?” he asked.

 

Kaede nodded. “Yeah, I’m a bit hungry too actually.”

 

They both ate in comfortable silence. Kaede noticed Amami was sneaking glances at her from time to time, and she found it annoying but she wouldn't reprimand him until after he finished eating most of his food. When Kaede was done, she subconsciously tapped her chopsticks on the bowl while she waited for Amami. He smiled at her “How kind of you Akamatsu-san. But I don’t mind if we talked now.”

 

“Sure, mind telling me why you kept looking at me all this time?” she snapped. She’s surprised of her abrasive tone yet again, but she doesn’t apologize this time.

 

“Did that make you feel uncomfortable? I apologize since that was never my intention.” Amami responded calmly. “You just… look different with that get up.”

 

Kaede tilted her head in confusion. She was currently wearing a tucked-in white long sleeved shirt, first two buttons unfastened, and the sleeves rolled up to her forearms, paired with black skintight jeans and navy blue sneakers. She never thought her fashion sense would be something to be considered odd. She distinctly remembered that she usually dressed like this, preferring long sleeves, pants and sneakers. The only thing that she picked differently from her personal style was…

 

Amami smiled. “Atleast you wore your signature musical hairpins.”

—

 

The next time Kaede was able to converse with Amami was two days later, still in the cafeteria. He was droning on about the progress of the killing game storyline, which she learned doesn’t really happen concurrently to real time as she initially believed. It actually spanned a week, with the class trial punctuating the end. Footage shown to the public was regulated through a bi-weekly schedule, their heavily edited free time events premiered on Thursdays while a condensed version of the investigation segment is shown before the live broadcast of the class trials on Sundays. They, however, had the luxury of accessing a live feed of everything up to the trial, unedited and candid, as well as past footage, a luxury Kaede had refused to use.

 

“Tojo-san is currently carrying out her plans to kill Hoshi-kun.” Amami said matter-of-factly before taking a bite of a hamburger. Kaede’s grip on her utensils tighten, but she remained quiet. “It’s going to be a brilliant, complicated murder scheme, a testament of Tojo-san’s intelligence.”

 

Kaede’s initial passive expression contorted into a grimace, and Amami took notice. “Does that upset you, Akamatsu-san?” She doesn’t really want to answer that because she doesn’t actually understand what’s making her upset. Was it Tojo’s apparent betrayal of her last wish? Was it the very existence of the killing game? Or was it her willingness to sign up for something as awful as this and now she’s stuck in a limbo of memory lapses and personality shifts?

 

She ignored his question and shot back a question of her own. “How long have you been working for Team Danganronpa, Amami?”

 

Amami looked at her from his plate, an unreadable expression flits through his face before settling back into his usual carefree expression. He took a sip of water. “A long time now, it seems.”

 

Kaede paused from eating, studying Amami’s demeanor more carefully. “Why do you work here?”

 

The corners of Amami’s mouth ever so slightly tug upward, but his eyes were hollow and heavy. “Because I’m someone here.”

 

—

It was Sunday, and Kaede was currently lounging in her room (like she usually does). Apart from visiting the therapist, she didn’t really have much to do, mostly passing the time by talking to Amami or exploring the building. She was painfully aware of how remarkably untalented she was, and it sometimes frustrated her. Amami had suggested she invest her time developing a hobby, like playing the piano. She would much rather avoid the piano like a plague though, since it’s one of the last things she remembered seeing before _dying_. She thought of trying to learn playing a different instrument though, like a guitar. She was about to set off to find the music room when an announcement rang through the PA system.

 

“The Second Class Trial is about to go live.”

 

Kaede scoffed at the audacity of something like that needed an announcement, but it did make her slightly curious. Against her better judgement, she turns on the television and finds the channel for the live broadcast.

—

 

Tojo’s screams were cut short after a sickening crunch, her mangled lifeless body barely censored on screen.

 

Kaede could almost taste the bile that rose in her throat. She hastily turned off the television, trying to reorient herself. While Kaede was glad that in-game Saihara was becoming a reliable person, it terrified her that he would slowly condemn one of their peers to their 'death' as long as murders kept happening. On one hand, she was glad that none of that was actually real but on the other… she was sure Tojo was going to have a hell of a rude awakening. 

 

Memories of her own death flashed through her mind, making her sink on the ground hugging her knees, breathing rapidly. She made an effort to calm herself a bit, and on shaky legs, she quickly leaves her room to pay a visit to her therapist.

 

—

Two days later, Kaede was in the music room trying to learn her first piece for the guitar when she was informed that Hoshi was awake.

 

Kaede immediately visited Hoshi the moment he was well enough to accept visitors. She thought of bringing flowers, but realized she didn’t know where she could possibly get flowers considering how bland Team Danganronpa’s place was.  _Oh yeah, the request form... but there's no time._

 

She rushed to the medical wing, losing her way several times in the labyrinthian corridors. By the time she arrived at Hoshi’s room, she was slightly out of breath and very annoyed. She taps on his door, and briefly wondered if it might’ve been too soft to hear. She doesn’t wait for his response though, and quickly stepped inside.

 

“Yo.” Hoshi greeted, slightly shifting to face her. He was sitting upright in a slouch, leaning against the railing of the bed. He was twiddling with a long white object sticking out his mouth, possibly a candy cigarette. His facial features were stern and unfeeling, yet he seemed relaxed. Kaede admittedly did not get to speak with Hoshi that much in the game, but he always did give off an astute vibe. She wondered if this Hoshi was exactly reminiscent of the Hoshi in-game.

 

“You’re not actually a killer, are you?” Kaede asked, only to do a double take after the last part of the sentence fell out of her lips. “Oh fu—fork, I’m sorry, oh my god!”

 

There was a momentary look of surprise on Hoshi before he chuckled. “Guess you also don’t have a filter in real life too, eh? Didn’t Amami mention that our in-game past was mostly fabricated?”

 

“Uh yeah, he has. Sorry, I’m just… feeling off for some reason ever since I went out the simulation.” Kaede smiled sheepishly, then looked down in embarrassment.

 

“And to answer your question, no, I’m no killer in real life.” he said, voice low. “In fact, I regard life as sacred.”

 

Kaede’s head snapped up in attention, gazing straight at Hoshi. He took the candy cigarette off his mouth, returning a more serious look at the blonde. “I wish Tojo would wake up soon.”

 

“Hey, don’t be too hard on her. We’re all suffering from the same oppressor here.” Kaede said.

 

Hoshi lets out a dry laugh. “Yeah, yeah. You’re not doing anything about them though, like we thought you would.”

 

Kaede bristled at the statement. “What?”

 

“Your promise?”

 

Kaede never visited Hoshi anymore.

—

 

Tojo woke up later that afternoon but didn’t allow any guest visits until the next day. Kaede was doing her usual exploring around the building’s perimeter when she happened upon a greenhouse at the back, hidden among overgrown foliage. Different types of flowers and medicinal plants filled the well-kept small area, labelled and organized according to function. The decorative flora was mostly planted on the ground, while the herbs sat on pots. She discreetly picked a random flower before making her way to Tojo’s room. She only had to ask for directions twice this time.

 

Kaede doesn’t bother to knock and just goes straight inside. “Hey, Tojo-san!” Tojo jolted at the sound of her entry, dropping the book she was reading.

 

“Oh, A-Akamatsu-san! Hello?” Tojo hastily grabbed the book and held it up to cover her mouth, seemingly flustered.

 

Kaede raised an eyebrow but doesn’t dwell on it. She took a seat on the chair near Tojo’s bedside, but not before turning it forwards. “Amami was here earlier, huh?” Tojo meekly nodded.

 

Once settled on the chair, Kaede thrusted a lone white flower in front of Tojo. “Got you this. Congrats on waking up, I guess?”

 

Tojo blinked, once, twice. She shifted her gaze to Kaede then back at the flower. “Um, Akamatsu-san… I’m not dead.”

 

“What?” The blonde tilted her head. Tojo took the flower from Kaede's outstretched hand anyway and held it near her chest.

 

“This is Shiragiku, the white chrysanthemum; it is a traditional funeral flower.” Tojo explained, twirling said flower gently on her hand. Heat spread across Kaede’s face and she made a move to take back the flower, but Tojo avoided her maneuver. “I’d still like to keep this though. Thank you, Akamatsu-san. I appreciate your thoughtfulness.”

 

Kaede scratched the back of her head, still embarrassed. “Sorry, I’m not very well-versed with Hanakotoba. How’d you…”

 

Tojo smiled. “My mother was a florist.” Kaede hummed in response. This was the first time she had ever seen Tojo so willing to talk about herself and it was refreshing since in-game Tojo was so stiff and aloof.

 

Kaede looked pensive for a moment. “How are you feeling? After getting out of the simulation…”

 

Tojo averted her gaze, lips forming a thin line. She remained silent despite Kaede changing the topic, and after a while the blonde wordlessly slipped out the room.

—

 

Kaede had dinner with Amami that night. She settled for some uramaki sushi while Amami had a full meal of grilled salmon, steamed rice, pickles, and a cup of tea. She absentmindedly fed herself as her thoughts take her back to her previous interaction with Hoshi. _What promise? Did I actually promise something? All I remember was my wish for them to never lose to the killing game... before being executed for my crime..._

 

Her gaze inadvertently travelled to Amami who was currently focused at slicing the salmon. He wore a dark blue striped sweater decorated with a sun pattern, paired with a baggy, light brown sarouel pants and slip-on shoes. Around his neck was a crystal pendulum necklace and had several piercings on his ears, as well as various accessories on his hand. Earlier, Kaede had seen the promotional poster for “Danganronpa v3” and the Amami in front of her now looked like he leaped out of said poster, it was uncanny.

 

It had been a question that she tried holding off for quite some time, but she felt now was as good a time as any to bring it up. “Hey Amami, why do you wear your clothes from the game?”

 

The slicing stopped. Amami set aside his utensils and looked directly at Kaede’s eyes, making her flinch. “What brought this on, Akamatsu-san?”

 

Kaede raised her hands defensively. “Nothing! It’s just… I’m curious? Why are you holding on to your character?”

 

“Hm, interesting thought…” Amami stroked his chin, “I suppose it has something to do with you referring to me as Amami Rantaro.”

 

“Huh?”

 

“This is my current identity, Amami Rantaro.”

 

“I… don’t follow.”

 

Amami chuckled. “You know, I could say the same to you too, Akamatsu-san. You have also been holding on to your character.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Hanakotoba: language of flowers
> 
> (I just couldn't help but insert a vaguely romantic kaerumi moment coz I'm so biased gffgdssdksd)
> 
> also the white chrysanthemum also means "truth" ;) -truth bullet-


End file.
